The Alter Egos

Ever since the summer of '00, I have been having problems with Alter Egos. My first one was Tom Nig. More and more Alter Egos kept on showing up, until I couldn't keep track of them. Here are the ones that I could track down, and get a picture of. I will also describe them. Do you have problems with Alter Egos? If so, raise your hand.


Yasu- your average guy

Yasu is your average guy. He is known to crack some jokes here and there. He likes to have fun. Some other things he likes- Japan, big beautiful women, NSX, money, his homies and long walks on the beach. This is the usual ego that Yasu occupies. Would you like to meet him?

Drunk Yasu- your average faded guy

Drunk Yasu appears whenever Yasu drinks. He likes to say shit all night long, whether relevant or not. He is said to be amusing. Here he is, drinking some Kirin Ichiban. Drunk Yasu only likes to drink beer. He doesn't drink no hard shit. Tell him if you want to drink sometime.

Drunk Drunk Yasu- your average drunk

Drunk Drunk Yasu has only appeared 3 times. It's kinda scary. More so, he is quite annoying (according to Ted). The first time he appeared was at Ted's house on 11/25/00. He drank too many Mickey's 40s. He went around telling everyone that he loved them. He also got kinda sick that night. The second time he appeared was in at the Mermaid Inn with Cheech, Josh, Chubb, William, Chris and his bitch, Eben, Phil, Noah and Ryan. He was busting beer after beer, with no water. He also doesn't like to share beer, so he ended up drinking all of it. This was the night that we got kicked out of the Inn, because Eben called his dad, saying he was at Tommy Flynn's house. Eben's dad sensed something funny, and he came, alerting the manager. Drunk Drunk Yasu got a ride home by Chris' bitch that night. He threw up in his room that night. The third and final time he showed up was at Emmett's cabin. The second trip. From 4:30pm-11:30pm he had a beer in his hand. He was sleeping in the loft, which is hot as fuck, and he threw up a tiny bit. He could not bust a big throw up. He went downstairs and slept for an hour in the cold. He felt a little better. He then went to the first floor, and proceeded to spend the rest of the night on the couch. We do not like to see Drunk Drunk Yasu. He cannot be reached.

Tom Nig- ghetto thug

Tom Nig is a straight up, money making playa. He is a rapper, who raps about selling drugs, blunts, 40s, big screen TVs, dubz and bitches. As you can see in the picture, Tom always carries at least a G in his hat. Cash. And his grill, well, it's platinum. And you can also see that he got platinum skin grafts on his face. He aspires to be all platinum. He likes to roll 2002 Esco with 22" Lexani Krystal rims. That's dubz+2. You don't wanna fuck with Tom. Holla at him if you're a beginner rapper who wants to be produced.

Thomas Nigimoto- a high-class business man

Thomas Nigimoto is also a money making man, except he does legitimate business deals. He likes to drive Bentley, wear fine Italian clothing made by Prada, Gucci, etc. He enjoys the fine life of a CEO. He also likes James the Cat. Ring him up if you got a business deal.

Clouse Stricker- a European connoisseur

Clouse Stricker hails from Austria, but lives in Italy. He likes fine wines and champagnes, such as the Dom Perignon he is holding in the picture. He also likes to eat great meals that take 5 hours to eat. Call him up sometime if you would like to dine with him.

"The Su"- an arrogant asshole

"The Su" refers to himself in the 3rd person. He is too cool to talk to anybody. He is actually quite similar to our Justin Pressfield. He always comes first. He will not give you the time of day, no matter who you are.

Heidi- the 10 year old girl from Sweden

Heidi appears when Yasu starts to film a movie. Heidi likes to ride dirtbikes. She has a very high voice. She is a very friendly person. Would you like an Internet girl? Like Aaron Carter.



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