How to Post

I like to post. For those of you who know me, you know that I love to post. Posting is one of my favorite activities. Some may call it a wack activity, but oh well. Posting requires a certain amount of skill like fencing (Iris Zimmerman!!!), or even chemistry. See, it may look like one is doing absolutely nothing, but in reality, there is a lot of planning, preparation, etc. to post well. I tried to find some other how to post articles on the Internet, except none showed up! Even the rap dictionary didn't have a definition of the word "post." Perhaps it's new? Perhaps nobody uses it? Well, I use it. And I live it. But anyways, here are my secrets.


1) A good night's sleep

Posting is a very high energy-taking activity. One needs to have a lot of rest so one can actually post the whole day.

2) Stretch

Since one is going to be sitting for the entire day... one needs to work out the muscles sometime. Or else they might atrophy. And that, I do not think, is a good thing.

3) Pick the proper atire

One needs to be stylin' when one posts. I chose to wear my Fox Racing Tantrum Red shorts with "Big Tymers..." embroidered on them. I like them, they are quite nice.

4) The phone

When somebody calls to see what one is doing, one always has to answer that he/she is posting. Nothing else. One cannot say they are watching TV, surfing the Information Superhighway, etc. One is posting. And that is final. Oh yes, and please try to keep the phone conversations to a minimum. It tends to eat out of quality posting time. If possible, see if the person one is talking to can come over and post alongside.

5) AIM away messages

One always needs to write that one is posting on the away messages. That way, when somebody "IMs," he/she will know that one is posting. And then he/she will be satisfied, knowing one is putting time to good use. This particular away message states, "The Su is posting. Call him if you're so inclined! Remember, if you ain't rollin' right, you ain't rapping right!"

6) A long "Now Playing List"

Make sure that one has a bunch of programs to watch while posting. That particular day, I had about 5 "pages" of stuff to watch. That is more than 24 hours of posting!

7) Alcohol

One does not have to be sober while posting. Drink all one wants. But make sure one does not pass out. Because then one is not posting. Alcohol tends to make posting a lot more fun. And since posting in itself is sick as fuck, it makes it really sick as fuck!

8) Friends

One does not have to post alone. One can post with however many people one wants to. It is more fun that way! Here I am posting with Nick Carter, Aaron Carter, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, and Lizzie McGuire!

9) Solitude

It is perfectly OK to post alone. I do it all the time. Posting alone is very relaxing. This is my favorite position to post, with the remote on my stomach for easy reach.

10) Inaudible

Sometimes it is necessary to be very quiet when posting. With a good pair of headphones or earphones, it is realistic to be able to post quietly. I do not like to do this however, since wearing headphones hurts yo ears.


And basically, that is how to post. I hope y'all have fun posting. But no posing.



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