USC Is So Sick

Bonjour my good friends! I went down to LA to check out the USC, which is probably the #1 stunner school. And of course the Redlands, to post with the Emmett Train. You know what's fucked up? When I was flying back I fell asleep, and woke up with my mouth open, drool everywhere. It was fucking gloriously attractive and I bet the guy that sat next to me thought I was beautiful. Oh and by the way LA was hot as fuck I was a polar bear and hated it.


Popeye's- Ain't nothing wrong with that. You always hear about this fried chicken place in rap songs so I've always wanted to go. Jake, Stricker and I went a couple months ago. I ate four pieces, and wanted to die. It's great.

Here is Tommy Trojan! What an elegant mascot. You know what else is fucked up? I called D. Ellison to corner, and didn't get a call back.

This is Ted's apartment building at USC. The courtyard looks like a mofoin' jail.

No trip to LA is complete without going to Beverly Hills. This was on Rodeo Drive. Not only was this asshole driving a Bentley, but he had to be even more ostentatious and get yellow seats. Guess who Ted and I saw in BV? The Fonz! Ay!!!

This is Nick's room at USC. I love the 60's vintage furniture.

And his roommate is a weirdo and has all these military propaganda posters all over the apartment.

I love LA traffic. This was at 1pm on a Saturday.

We're cruisin' in the convertible with this sexy bitch driving us.

Uh oh.

What is this thing? A seagull dropped it on a car. It looks like a duckling that hadn't hatched yet. It was really gross, but I had to touch it. It was soft to the touch, with a little greasiness to it. The bottom portion felt like a bone. Fuck y'all, you swear I would touch that shit. Speaking of hygiene, let me tell you something fun. See, since I use antibacterial soap all the time, some bacteria must have become resistant to it and they live and breed on my hands. But my trick is once in a while I pour rubbing alcohol on my hands to kill those bastards. I am the greatest man alive.

"A car?!!" you say! "I wanna see a picture of this automobile!"

People like ducks. And I'm a person, so I like ducks.

The famous muscle beach at Venice. However no fuckers were working out.

Look! It's fools playing the basketball. Straight outta White Men Can't Jump.

The street performers at Venice are an interesting bunch.

Well asshole the first thing I would ask you is why can't you spell "wizard" right?

A guy made this dragon out of sand.

Have you ever seen these guys? They paint intricate pictures with spray paint.

He walks on glass, but it wasn't very impressive because he was walking so slow. The girl on him said she weighed 140 and the guy was like bullshit. People think it's funny when someone calls them out on their lies.

This guy must get so hot.

These weird dancers were horrible. Why would I want to go into a store like that? And who would wear something like that???

This guy was sick as fuck. He was extremely funky.

This couple have been married for 15 years. Apparently last week when Nick came the 70 year old lady was wearing a G string. I wanted to see it, real bad. How good of a picture of me is that? I'm very impressed with myself.

Redlands. The kid on the right is Adam; he's sick as fuck. Earlier in the year he stole a half-empty keg from a frat and got caught by campus po-lice. And then the school newspaper did an article on him, calling him an inspiration. His shorts he's wearing are his mom's. Great.

When you're with your homies you gotta sho-gun. Bob is fast at the sho-gun. Very fast. Very impressive.

Hey look! It's EMac! My neighbor! I don't remember when I took this picture or who the other two girls are. Who are they EMac?

Apparently I was calling this girl the hot German girl all night. But she's from Utah...

Look at that fucking mug.

In the morning I found out that Adam and I had a 30 minute conversation talking about how sexy Drew is. What do you think?

Here's Wilson.

And Sam. I really don't remember this either.

I felt like such an asshole when I woke up. I passed out on Emmett's bed and he had to sleep in one of those chairs. I gotta stop getting so blackout drunk.



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