The Aways

I've been told that I have good away messages on the AIM. So for those of you who enjoy The House but not my away messages, this one's for you. Except for one, these were never used as actual aways because my main compooter is totally separate from the compooter used to develop The House and I didn't want to type them twice. And I just realized, my away messages are backwards from The House. With The House, I take pictures and try to think of interesting captions while with this I think about interesting topics and then try to take an appropriate picture. By the way, these pictures are all either taken by me or with a self timer and tripod. I am so fucking sick it is reDOUGulous.


I love how the El Camino stop lights aren't timed right. How many times have you been driving down the devil's road and had to stop at EVERY light? It's a conspiracy with the gasoline companies and anger management therapists. Stop and go traffic burns more gas and makes me want to commit arson.


Two would you rathers that are amazing.

1. Would you rather have a ridiculously hot sister two years older than you that is extremely promiscuous or would you rather have an ably challenged brother who you constantly have to take care of?

2. Would you rather be a gorgeous man with one arm or would you rather have a fraternal twin brother who is hot hot hot and pulls many women while you yourself are ugly and don't do well at all?


Is it just me, or can you listen to a song on repeat for hours and hours? Yesterday and today I have worked on The House for a grand total of 15 hours. Looks nice doesn't it? Actually it probably doesn't look any different, it was all backend stuff. I listened to A Flock of Seagulls "I Ran" the whole time. Jake says listening to a song on repeat is a sign of OCD. Is it?


Sometimes I impress myself so much it is unbelievable. Sometimes being whenever I'm awake.


When you have a great dream doesn't your day start off so nicely? Last night the A*Teens were in my dream and I posted with them. It was so fantastic. I woke up happy. Good times.

Customary to hypogriffs in Harry Potter, I think I am going to start bowing to people when I meet them. If they bow back, therein lies a mutual bond to allow discourse.

Coors has some good radio commercials. I especially like the "I've stayed in Las Vegas for a week... without a hotel room" accomplishment. Bud Light, get your act together and make some good commercials.

As I was driving today I saw my old history teacher from high school but I couldn't remember her name. So I wondered if I could name all my teachers through the years. Elementary school was pretty easy because we had home rooms with one teacher, but getting to high school and college, I couldn't do it. Can you?

I was thinking about how much I hate facial hair and how nice it would be to be a girl (in respect to facial hair.) But then I said, "Hold on there Dr. Chiba. In the off chance that you were a girl with facial hair, then that would be 100x worse." So thank God I'm a dude.

You ever notice how things catch on other things all the time when you don't want them to? My backpack loops onto door handles, car mirrors, etc. My pant pockets too. It pisses me off. Not because it's frustrating and things rip, but because I know that one day when I'm hanging on a cliff I will need to hook something onto a rock to save my life, and it will miss. Woe is me.

 It's kinda disturbing when you're cleaning your shotgun and the barrel is still warm 5 hours after its last boom!


I bought some new hoses at Home Depot using their sweet self checkout. Do you remember when adults told you to never drink from a hose? That is because bacteria like to dwell in the dark, damp confines of a normal garden hose. Drinking water from the contaminated hose will make you sick. End of story. This sound advice brought to you in part by Emmett's father, the main man over at California Water.


I went to the happiest place in the world, aka Fry's Electronics for various items. Some pens were on my shopping list, however they only stocked red PaperMate pens. Who the fuck uses red pens? I need blue! Fry's can sell everything from compooters to Doritos to vacuums to tents to gay black midget porn with bestiality but no blue pens? Give me a fucking break... Oh, they also do not sell booze. That'd be great if they did.


I've noticed all these before but now it has to be said on my soapbox. I don't know what prompted this but I sure am happy to have all my commercial helicopter requirements done.

1. The Valley sucks. It was 90 degrees at night, at 2000 feet. Back in the good Bay, it was 75 degrees.

2. British Airways aka Speedbird has the coolest call sign and with their British accents, they sound classy and sophisticated. Mexicana Airlines gets my goofiest voices award.

3. What does the Gucci callsign refer to? I asked the flight service station but they didn't know. Update- I looked it up and it is military.

4. It's a little disconcerting when over the radio you hear someone calling up with a warning "woop woop" in the background.

5. I get so bored that I have to sing to myself. Tonight it was "Jane Says" and "Without Me." I really wished that the controllers would sing along. I'm pathetic.

God my OCD is killing me. Now it is telling me to organize all the photos in my house into nice albums in chronological order. After that's taken care of, I have to scan them into the compooter because if my house burns down, I can just take my computer and have everything. Is this normal?

Why is it OK to pick and eat fresh fruit that's been sitting in the dirt for days but it's a social faux pas to pick up something like, mmmmm, a chimichanga off the ground and eat it?


Holy shit what a rough night. How many times have you felt like ass and swore off alcohol forever. I've probably done it as many times as this: add up the digits making up this year on the Jewish calendar, and multiply that by 2.

Why is it then when you sleep with your contacts in, when you wake up everything is blurry for a good ten minutes? Is it because they are dry? Whatever the case is, taking them in/out everyday is a pain in the ass.

Unless done properly, ironing can and will accentuate wrinkles even more than if you left them alone. Sometimes you find out the hard way.

Your good friend dies in a car wreck. He/she was drunk as shit and had a head on collision with another drunk driver. What do you tell people: 1. Your friend was killed by a drunk driver, in essence victimizing your friend. 2. Your friend was drunk and had an accident. 3. Your friend was drunk, so was the other driver, and fate struck swiftly and tragically. The moral of the story: don't drink and drive.

You know how they say when you get prescription medicine make sure you take all of it because if you just take it until the symptoms go away, then the strongest bacteria is still present in your system? Well what about anti-bacterial soap? Every time I wash my hands I'm afraid that I kill all the suckers but the bad asses are still on my hands. And it frightens me. I'm not lying.

Whenever I'm washing out a jar to recycle it, I think about how that jar could be used to store something. I'm a pack rat and don't throw anything away. So by throwing a jar away, 1. you're throwing a perfectly good jar away 2. you might be throwing a potentially great storage place for something nice, like marbles. But in the end they get recycled, since I have no need for jars.

What do they call chinese food in China? Food. What do they call chinese fire drills in China? Fire drills. Haha I crack myself up. I am so great. I am so great.


When I need to wake up at a certain time for school, work or pleasure, it's very hard to wake up at said time, even if it's 11 am. However when I don't have any pressing issues for the day, I wake up at 9 am. What the fuck.


Since my ma shirked on her duties to cut my hair last week to go to LA, it wasn't cut for two weeks. And damn, it feels good to get it cut.

You wake up one morning and realize that you don't remember a thing, straight out of Resident Evil. Do you think you'd be surprised at how good looking you were? Or be extremely disappointed if you were real ugly?



September 17, 2003

| Home | Contact |