A Few Kegs And A Goodbye

Well boys and girls, I am no longer calling Ice House home. It's been real, it's been fun. Incidentally, it's also been real fun. Surprisingly I got along with all of you really well (at least I thought so) and I'll miss living there. But life goes on, and anti-depressants are sometimes sold over the counter. This is an absolutely huge update since I haven't updated in a month.


Why is Tea-Bag drinking in class? I've heavily drank before one class. Freshman year, English 2, with the VDT. However I was the only one man enough to do it. It ruled. By the way, have you ever thought that some people could be a good looking girl or a good looking guy?

To answer the question above before I went off on two tangents, it's because we're watching a movie while the history teacher was gone. And why were we even there? I don't know, that's why we left after 20 minutes especially because Drunk Huens was being disruptive. I first heard the word "tangent" when Kelly Rogal wrote "I like your tangents" on the positive comments page in Ms. Caan's class (the one good idea she had). And it was confusing, because it was a Geometry Honors class and I thought it had to do with triangles. I know this is getting long, but one more thing. The girl in the pink has the coolest dye job ever. She dyed the top red and bleached the bottom, and when she pulls her hair back she puts the bleached hair over her ears and it looks absolutely spectacular.

You can't really see this but this girl dressed up as Little Bo Peep on a day that wasn't Halloween. Either she's very eccentric or she lost a bet.

Here's my "ghetto" friend Biz from Brooklyn. She thinks that Brooklyn's more hardcore than Menlo, however I set her straight when I informed her that Brooklyn is a church compared to West Menlo; when you go to Brooklyn they will bake you cookies whereas if you're an outsider stepping foot into Menlo, they will burn you alive. Doesn't she kinda look like Meghan Prober? Yeah, she does.

Here's Cristina serenading Huens. He has that look on his face that looks like the faces cartoon characters make when they're in love.

What is it about taking pictures of people taking pictures of you that is so fascinating? It's like looking in a mirror when there's a mirror behind you. Infinity, and beyond. Or a tatu of yourself on your arm, with a tatu of yourself, with a tatu of yourself. It goes on forever. And not to sound like a nerd, but Huens, Taft and I now have U-30s. Different colors, of course.

So I heard some bad stories about this guy's driving skills, and I stood by my car so he would hit me instead of the car, so I could sue him even harder.

I FUCKING HATE the San Jose Arena, or the Compaq Center or the HP Pavilion (Isn't that a computer?). Whatever it's officially called, it will now be known in my mind as a place that needs to be burned down. I was literally the next person in line when they stopped serving beer. You'd think after waiting 20 minutes in line you'd get some sort of notice. But no, either this guy's an asshole, or he didn't finish eighth grade and it didn't occur to him that people might not want to wait in line for nothing. And what pisses me off even more is that the only reason I was next in line was because these 3 ugly girls cut in front of me to be with their ugly pimp. The only way I'm coming here again is 1. they have a photo gallery of me or 2. the A*Teens are playing. But I won't lie, indoor lacrosse is sick as fuck.

The guy is sleeping... yet again. I promise, last picture of "the guy."

I have you ever been driving on the freeway when CHP turns on lights and starts swerving across all the lanes to get you to slow down to 40 mph? It's happened to me twice, and I really wondered why. So I called CHP at 916-657-7261 and spoke with a nice lady named Melissa. Apparently they do it for traffic breaks like if there is a bad accident up ahead. The funny this is, there were no accidents. I think the officer just was having a boring day.

In my Japanese class before this one we were doing flower arranging and I brought some extras for my friends in history class. And they put the flowers in their ears. Even the guys. And they looked so pretty, so pretty and gay.

"Chiba, I've figured out what I want for graduation. A Range, a G (Wagen), a Cartier Tank..." and about another $200 grand worth of stuff. Some people just live in another world.

We were making fun of Ferd saying he couldn't jump and reach the 8 foot ceiling when I noticed this. I'm not tall enough so Ben opened it, and there was a mattress up there.

Curious, Ben stands on Huens' shoulders and takes a look. Apparently it's huge up there. Looks like I found a place to live. Holla!

Oh no it's Caitlin again for a rematch. The Marquis never loses, especially in his own house. Actually that's a lie. J.P. beat me in chugging, but I turned around and beat him in shotgunning. We'll go again.

Would you rather? If you went to high school with me you might remember the twisted would you rathers that Jason, Keller and I came up with. Now I got our house doing them, and here we are telling girls some of the not so bad ones. Oh if they ever knew the horrible ones, they would never talk to us again.

I was on a slapping rampage again that night, but as soon as I slapped Charlie his bodyguard slapped me back.

I found this interesting. Taking pulls of Grey Goose with Capri Sun as a chaser. Something's wrong with that when you use a drink that we always drank as kids at soccer camp to get horribly, horribly shit faced.

The rule is, when one gets something engraved, it's official. In this case, each guy at Ice has his own mug with a nickname engraved on it. Mine however is a little different, because "The Marquis" is a powerful title for a pleasant man, not a nickname.

I swear to God we are the laziest people ever. Taft is one door down and we can talk to each other in slightly elevated voices, but we choose to talk on AIM.

Ben's 21st. Ready to have some fun buddy?

And the night starts at Chili's. Actually it had started a couple hours earlier at the house, pregaming.

Notice the marks on his hands. He is counting drinks, like I used to do. This method only works if a sober person is marking for you, because one tends to forget to mark after 10 drinks. At least that's how it was in my case.

Of course, Ben has to pimp two unknown girls. One night our house phone rings and I pick it up. Me: Holla. Unknown girl: Hey is this Ice House? I hear you have parties every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday! Me: Yup. Unknown girl: Can I come over tomorrow? Me: Sure.... who are you? It was the girl on the right, wanting some sweet, sweet loving from Ben. However he got stood up. Sad face.

"Hey look at my Air Force Ones!"

Ah, urinating in public places. I was once relieving myself with Burkholder in an alley in Palo Alto when a cop drives up and we're like "Fuck, we're going to get MIPs" cause we were also drinking some Buddy Light at the time. She gets out of her car and goes, "Are you out of your mind? That's a $2000 fine!" And then proceeds to drive off.

To a real bar now, and Taft needs all the support he can get. We had to carry him in there like a wounded soldier. And it was cowboy night at this particular watering hole and they thought we were GAY.

Wow Sara you have very nice facial features, especially your nose. Like I've always said, noses make it or break it.

"I don't know whether I want to puke or pee."

I think Andy had to help him wash his hands too. Jesus H.

The first picture of me and my roommate. It's kinda funny, out of all the guys at Ice I think I know Andrew the least.

Well, Huens actually T-Bagged Ben by putting bare balls on his forehead. I won't lie, I laughed.

Two girls were walking on the other side of the street so I hollered at them to come give birthday boy a hug and a kiss.

By that time, he wasn't hearing any of it.

We're really nice, so we laid him up on the couch with plastic bags and a bowl for vomit. What a gross word.

Apparently Kevin went pretty big too, cause he's passed out in the fucking pantry.

Next night, Kevin comes in while we're watching telly and informs us he's hungry. Spotting a pizza box, he takes a slice and eats it. We tell him that it's two days old, but he's nonplussed, and takes another slice. Savage.

'ave you ever noticed that all elevator permits are expired? I've probably seen like 8 in my entire life that were up to date.

Look what Meredith and Catie made for us. A remarkable display of craftsmanship.

We punk'd Ferd one night when we took his monitor, DVDs, his roommate's clothes and computer and semi trashed the place and made it look like someone broke in and gafted. We had it going for 45 minutes until he went outside and we quickly brought everything back in the room and pretended that nothing had happened. But he saw us while he was outside and the ploy was up. Misquote: "Damn I thought they stole my Uggs."

Carrying kegs upstairs is a BITCH. So these smart kids loaded it up in a shopping cart, not thinking that it would make the task that much more daunting.

Lady Fortune was with me and gave me a luscious kiss. Meghan was visiting Urn, and Biz was at our party. Another set of lookalikes, captured digitally by The Mofoin' Marquis. Holla atcha boi.

What's that? You're not representing MA U KNOW but the SH geezers huh?

Someone apparently went pretty big and threw up on our floor. And why is she stepping in it? Good times- the Friday before finals. Would you rather puke in a crowded bar or a crowded house party?

Well she looks pretty drunk perhaps Jenn didn't notice.

The po-lice came and celebrated the last day of classes with us by handing out 3 MIPs. I was peeping out the window and was surprised at how long it took for them hand out tickets with impunity. Now there's a word that hasn't been uttered since 1978.

Tim also went big, threw up on the floor and passed the fuck out. Good times.

But we're hospitable folks and gave him a nice couch to sleep on.

Cleaning up, I noticed that there were so many half full beers that we could've filled half a keg. What wastefulness.

And fucking nags thank us for throwing parties by smashing our pumpkins.

And puking everywhere. This is the most puke this house has seen in a while. And I won't lie I puked in the morning at the Chevron gas station on Middlefield. I went huge and hurt for a good while. Saturday night, here I come!

Just another rock in my foundation of hypothesis that Urn Ashford will become Mrs. Urn Taft. They're wearing the same mofoin' color!

That's a nice chicken you have there Ben, brrrrr brrrrr.

The Punisher huh? Didn't they already make that movie with Dolph Lundgren of Universal Soldier fame? Whatever happened to that guy?

Holy shit our "Would You Rather?" game is now being played on national television with hip-hop stars like Method Man!

Have you ever seen big rigs honking and passing cars because they were driving too slow? Well I saw it here, cause this van was plodding along at 40 MPH.

Whenever I see rainbows I can only see part of them because they seem to disappear into the clouds, on towards lands of gold and leprechauns. But this one was different, I saw the whole arc.

Sara passed the fuck out while B. Taft, Huens and I were arguing about issues with fervor. Huens: "Yasu is a lot more liberal than I thought and it makes me want to cry!"

Ah the potato guns bring on hours upon hours of fun. And yes it is night and Ben's lazy ass is still in pajamas.

Everyone is done with finals! This night was fun; I took over 100 pictures, mostly of these two, and I hid from the cops with two black girls. Yeah it was pretty sweet.

I seriously think these two have secret romantic interludes when the moon is full and the tide is high.

Pretending we are Japanese tourists. Cause EVERY Japanese takes pictures "peacing."

"Wow that's huge!"

Hey Catie you're hollering at the wrong Andrew...

For this one is Leland of Stanford and Medina reputation.

Sierra is a great dancer and people enjoy watching. I was promised a lap dance, however it was all broken pledges and empty dreams.

A girl is something roommates should not share even if sharing is caring.

Charles talks absolutely huge, but in reality he is stuck in a dark, slippery well of misfortune and lofty fantasies.

Dallas, Taft and Cisco. Me and Cisco will demolish anyone at beer pong. He is a good substitute for one T. Huens who was MIA this night. Or perhaps I just got too drunk and didn't notice him. Or he could've been starring in gay porn.

"Your ideas intrigue me and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter."

Braided pigtails! Braided pigtails! Ladies, I love braided pigtails. E. Train, you've started a bad bad thing.

What would you say if someone brought a small piano into your room like Charlie Brown's friend and played "Lady '95" while staring intently into your eyes?

Mieka back from far off lands. I've said it once before, and I'll say it again. She looks like that girl who was on an episode of The Wonder Years who had a gigantic nose and everybody laughed at her except the #1 stunner, and she went to the dance with him. I think I've seen every single episode of The Wonder Years. And The Brady Bunch. Anyway, if you know who I'm talking about, holler cause I'm Curious George.

I think this was Mieka's idea to take a picture like Japanese anime.

"What you're marrying Ally Hilfiger?!" Yes I am. Then I can be decked out in all Hilfiger all the time. It would be absolutely great to have her as my spouse.

So much going on in this picture- a man turning into a pig, a girl trying to kiss said man to try and turn him back into a man (like the frog prince) and a white giant holding the two together so as not to fade into oblivion.

What two great looking guys. Why am I getting red eye? I'm not some white guy with blue eyes.

I remember dancing with her, but that might've been a dream. Is she vogueing?

Even the mightiest and most noble of men are defeated paupers in the morning.

I finally have a year's worth of data for fuel consumption. I figured out how much I've spent on gas, the highest price, lowest price, average mile/gallon, etc. God I need a hobby, or a girlfriend or something...

Have you ever used a pressure washer? It might be the greatest toy ever created!



December 13, 2003

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