Take That And Rewind It Back

Isn't that the best line ever? Yeah it's pretty sick and I like Ludacris just for that. Anyway I've been going pretty big lately and have been pontificating various ideas, namely "I'd do anything to date _____." I need to stop for it might get back to a certain someone and that's just embarrassing.


This is the box for the Marie doll that Jenna gifted to me. www.ateens.com is not the official A*Teens website, www.a-teens.com is. www.ateens.com is a porn site. What the fuck?

We went to the Los Gatos Ferrari and this is a separate building across the street from the main dealership. I found it funny how one has to go grab someone to look at the cars, but I guess that's how it works since these cars are mofoin' expensive and mofoin' rare.

Who does that cyclist think he is? I'd be pissed off if some dude was using Narcissus for balance. Especially if I just washed/waxed it.


Thursday, March 25, 2004

Cohen and some of his Mercer Island buddies had a room at the Mandalay Bay and I was invited to post for a night. I love Vegas. Anyway the computer in the elevator was all fucked up and was rebooting or something.

The atrium in the Luxor is ridiculous!

I didn't know you're allowed to take pictures in casinos! Here's Mr. Cohen hollering at blackjack, making some bills so he can add to his collection of splendid jewelry.

"This Bud's for you cause you are Sir Chiba, XIV, The Marquis of Oxenford and the Author of the Oxford English Dictionary."

Apparently Ben was the only one in our group who'd lost money, and here he is on the phone with his Swiss banker securing more funds to fuel his gambling habit.

DRUNK! Starting it off strong with Crown Royal and then hollering at Bud Light and Miller Lite the rest of the night. Good times! By the way they charge bar prices at the gift shops for beer. $4.25/beer? Come on!

We invited these 45 year old ladies to come hang over at the Ghost Bar but I don't think they thought we were serious. If we pushed it they would've come, home wrecker style.

Who took this picture Ben is cut out. Anyway Cohen is a big baller and a shot caller. There was a long ass line to get in and I went up to the bouncer and asked him how much it would cost to skip the line and he said well how much are you willing to pay? For some odd reason I pulled out $140 from my ass and he said alright. But then another guy said $100 was fine and Cohen slips him the Benjamin from his gambling funds. And then we had to pay the $10 cover. Is Paris Hilton going to be here?

There's this glass floor where you can see all the way down. It's interesting how scerrrred some ladies are of stepping on it.

Doesn't Ben kinda look like Matthew Lawrence?

What's cooler than posting at the Ghost Bar and taking pictures of hands in shirts? Almost nothing.

"Are you serious? You're one of those silly men that dress up as women? That's what we came to Vegas for!"

These were two girls from Chicago I was trying to holler at. The one who has the confused look on her face looks extremely similar to someone at SC, but the name slips my mind.

I swear Vegas is the greatest place on earth. We definitely need to holler at it like once a month no joke.

Holler! It's always fun seeing people from school outside of it, especially 2/3 of the J. Sloan equation.

Who likes the windswept look? It felt very nice outside because it was windy city heat but it was also quite warm.

It looks like there's another floor above the Ghost Bar, and Cohen and I pestered and pestered this guy until he took us upstairs to a desolate restaurant.

Apparently I had the camera out and was taking pictures as soon as I saw Jennafer. Very immediately, if not sooner. I've been getting way too drunk and forget to take pictures. Please, if you run into me, remind me of my duty to the faithful readers of The House.

"The cute one doesn't go to SC, right?"- A naive question from a girl with a taste for the Burberrrrrrrry.

OK this pissed me off we saw Xzibit coming out of the Palms so of course I wanted to take a picture. After getting past his ghetto asshole entourage, I managed to get close enough to take a picture, and one of the guys purposefully took a picture of his fucking sleeve instead of us with Xzibit. I didn't want to cause a fuss because I didn't want more bodies on the Kimber .45 but it was ridiculous.

Here's the Escalade that X to the Z drove off in. When Cohen and I were going to Fat Burger we jaywalked and a cop on the other side busts out the sirens and puts a spotlight on us, telling us to come over to him. I thought my ID would be gafted but he just told us to not disrespect him and to "get the hell out of here." Gladly.


End of the night... at least picture wise.


I'm sure you know this but make sure you know where you are parked. I forgot and walked around the parking structure for 15 minutes until I found my car. And this wasn't fun when I was feeling awful because I went obscenely huge until about 5 am and then woke up at 9 to catch my flight. On my flight there was the best looking flight attendant I've ever seen and that cheered me up immensely. Good looking people have that effect on me.

An anonymous Ice House resident is burned as shit going to a sunny place for shady people (which I guess could be either Vegas or Arizona).

Ben and I were running our cars The Quick and the Angry style when I was pulled over by the fuzz for speeding and no license plate. I hadn't had the chance to register Narcissus yet because I couldn't get a DMV appointment and the shire reeve thought I had stolen the car. Not another GTA! But after running the VIN multiple times he figured out that I owned the car. Like I always say, if you are a pleasant looking gentleman and are nice to the police, they will be nice to you.


Sunday, March 28, 2004

Well it's the Sunday coming back from Spring Break, and like any other school, it is time for some drinking.

I took so many pictures of Meredith I can publish a book. Glasses...

Or au naturale?

Here I is getting rejected yet again. Do you feel sorry for me, or no?

"Hola, mi nombre es Manuel, I'll be your Latin lover for this evening."

"Raise your hand if you're good looking."

You're hella gay. Want a piece sucker? Look at Charles in the back pretending he is his sister and giggling profusely because of a funny anecdote Leland just told us all like an Aesop's Fable. Did you know- Aesop is not a dude but a bunch of people.

"Oh I could taste those 3 gross hot dogs I ate when I burped. Tee hee!"

 Well we had the spot light out, and like moths to a bright light or a small child to anything shiny, Meredith and Lindsay flock to have pictures taken like Paris Hilton and the Japanese.

A nice set of frames definitely complements beautiful faces quite nicely. Who else looks real good with glasses? I can think of a certain someone but she will remain nameless... though most of you can probably guess.

Two questions who would you rather fight and who would you rather make out with?

"Hi my name is Thomas Huens and I'm not a sexual offender."

Tim and a very tan Serene. When I was a shorty and I used to constantly holler at the outdoors, I was a black black kid. And I always used to swim with goggles so I'd look like a reverse raccoon.

Why is Conlin standing at attention like we are Army ROTC? What do you think about water imps they are very cucumber shaped. Yes that was random but I was watching a movie and they mentioned water imps. NetFlix rules.

Look at this stud modeling for us on the ///M. I bet Charles wasn't too pleased with this performance because Mr. Bric isn't a scantily clad 115 pound girl-model. Actually what am I saying I bet Charles loved it. Try not to jerk off too much to this!

What's worse the fact that they are doing this or the fact that I took a fucking picture?

Looking good Mona. "Naturally."

The outgoing call list was impressively impressive. In the morning I like to look at who I drunk dialed the past evening, and it always brings me much amusement (and fear, for I am scerrrrrred that I'd say something bad).


End of night.


I've found the trick to working the DMV. You don't have to have an appointment but if you tell them you have one they put you in the appointment line, effectively making your wait 2 hours shorter. You can thank me the next time you go and save your sanity.

Jenna and I drove all the way to San Mateo to see Sam, but they were closed!!!


Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Who is more manly? A shoving contest. I thought from lacrosse Huens would stand his ground like the Berlin Wall pre-1989, but he toppled just like said super structure.

I am sorry I only got 4 pictures this night I went way too big and missed my first class. I've never overslept before and realize that I should probably look into not drinking on Wednesdays or if I do, don't holler at Jack Daniel's.

Do you ever refer to people by their AIM screennames? I sure do with Annie.

I have no idea why I took this but I imagine that Jenna spaz'd out again and fell. I ate so much Jack in the Box again it was awful.

Moving refrigerators does not have a very good fun:work ratio, but Jaclyn was pleased with her handiwork.


Friday, April 2, 2004

My flight instructor John Bell Jr. raves about Pleasure Pizza, saying it's better than Amici's. We talk about food all the time, so I usually trust his judgement and I've been waiting to go here for a long time. Let me tell you- WAY too much hype, it doesn't even come close to Amici's or Toto's. And yes I got the Santa Barbara with the artichoke hearts.

We're at Dallas' sick ass beach house right on the water in Santa Cruz and look who is stunning the glasses like a contestant on America's Next Top Model.

Horse races! Horse races! Lindsey taught us this game and it is so much fun I start screaming.

Look at the intense desire Huens has for Mona. Or is that a sly smirk? Either way, keep up the good work Mona & Huens.

Sometimes, you are so awesome that you can take pictures of people without even looking at the mofoin' LCD. Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry but that is a skill that you should admire. It's one of those skills that you don't really appreciate because you think it's easy like leaving stickers on the Bentley just to show the price.

What photogenic individuals I need to make a Ladies of The House special. That'd be so key I can't even put it in words.

Here's Kev dancing on yet another guy... sometimes you have to wonder, he would.

I was talking to Sierra about penguins and I turn around and they're still going at it.

How many seconds do you think Bric can go? More importantly, how many seconds can you go?

You're letting Kev get to third base without dating him??? You're such a slut Sierra!

Aren't you supposed to be more vertical for a kegstand? This reminds me of the picture Slina had in her room where she was completely horizontal doing a kegstand.

Damn John aren't you mofoin' cold? I sure was and I was hollering at three layers.

"Alright it's almost time for me to put on the elephant mask and morph into my alter ego, The Beautiful Elephant Man."

"No I want to put on the elephant mask! You promised me!"

Bric and John went into the ocean which must've been fucking freezing. Especially since Kev got completely naked and started tackling John in the water straight out of Boys Gone Wild Vol. 4.

Ben don't ever throw out your drink again that is akin to holding out a salami sandwich out to a homeless man only to tell him that the tubed meat is made out of human remains. Actually that was an awful analogy but you get the point.

Passed the fuck out by 10:30, it's Tafter. I wanted to write on him with something thicker but I could only find a regular Bic pen. Writing on people and getting written on is awesome. As long as I don't get raccooned I'm fine. And did you see the Soprano's episode where AJ's friends super glued his face to the carpet and shaved his eyebrows? That shit was hilarious.

Luckily Leland was sober enough to drive us home in Narcissus so we could sleep in our own beds. As long as I don't get the DUI, I'm fine.

Why aren't you dressed up like it's Halloween Jenna? I think once a month everyone has to dress up as something fun like Yan Can Cook. If Yan Can Cook, so can you! Did you know it was a restaurant I want to go.

Spaz for the night is KH. This is the girl that gave me my signed A*Teens poster and is now my most favorite person.

I'm sorry but Jaclyn's hat reminds me of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax" video way too much.

It's the OOOOOOOOOO club!!! If you received a drunk dial this night, it was these fine gentlemen that gave you a ring ring.


Saturday, April 3, 2004

The violins are playing and the tears are flowing for Charles' shoulder hurts so much he can't throw a feather weight ping pong ball for beirut.

Damn what is better than a good looking girl with braided pigtails in a Catholic school girl uniform? You know what's weird I've been to Catholic school my whole life and our uniforms never looked like this. Speaking of uniforms back in grade school I hated our uniform- white polo, khakis and brown or black shoes. Now I find that I sometimes wear my exact uniform out of choice except I don't tuck in the shirt. People sure do change. But one this is certain I was awesome back then and have only gotten more awesome as each minute goes by.

God Hunnah is so good looking it makes the alligator on my shirt smile. You know what's weird? Everyone used to wear Lacoste shirts for uniforms but then around fourth grade it disappeared. Now it's the trendy thing to wear again.

Looking good in the glasses, it's J. Sloan #3. Who's that girl in the pigtails and can I date her?

What a good looking bunch of kids we should be the cover for our school's welcome packet.

I'm fairly certain that I took these glasses from some poor girl to put on Michelle. That was quite rude of me wasn't it?

You would.

This was awesome I don't know how it got to this but Christina and I drew all over each other. When I woke up in the morning still drunk I noticed that I had ink all over me and was thoroughly confused.

Until Laura cleared things up for me. Bring out the pigtails and the pink bucket hat please!!!

Yeah... what the fuck was I thinking. And notice that in the hand drawing my skin is all red I think someone slapped me but I guess I deserve that because I was slapping people all night like it was the pathway to heaven.

Kelly you have yet to see the Hilary Duff magazine I got it rules. There's an M&M one too in the series that I want will you buy it for me?

Going big doesn't even describe my condition this night. Good night!



April 4, 2004

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