Yesterday Cohen informed me of a ridiculously funny word, and I have not been able to stop thinking and laughing at it. I cannot tell you what it is over the Entirenet because I was threatened not to "play it out."
BTW we will soon be having the awaited Catch Phrase bracket style tournament, winner takes all. Grab a partner and start practicing because Ben Taft and I are going to own all you bitches and buy ourselves something nice with the funds.
Sunday, January 2, 2005
It's fucking Winter Quarter. Fuck this shit is going to be hard. I thought Senior year was supposed to be easy. Oh and in case you were wondering, I passed my Capstone. That shit made me anxious all break.
Here is my partner for GO-SHP Magazine. At least when we get sued for libel together, we can kick it to the curb and day drink our sorrows away.
Caitlyn: EWWWW You fucking loogied on my fucking shirt!
Mer: I know! Tee hee! It's green like a Christmas tree, cause I have a sinus infection. Tee hee!
Vicencia has a nice smile. That is more than I can say about you, motherbitch.
You remember this picture you mugs? A throwback to old times when Mer was barely legal and Caitlyn was legal only in southern states and third world countries.
OMFG they look so alike I laugh at their resemblance. And laugh some more. I am told that there is another little C. sister, but she is blonde. That's hot.
"Well since our recent blood tests show that we pretty much have the same STDs, give or take 11 or 12, I guess it's alright if we fuck like monkeys."
I got a chain Facebook message. First chain letters, then chain emails, and now this- my favorite medium. If you are so fucking stupid you think the "sexy train" will make or break you, I really don't know what to say besides I wish bad bad things upon you.
I was reflecting on my life and realized that I really don't know what's going on in the world. I mean, I could talk to you about pop culture, or the Facebook, or books, or myself, but that could get old. I said could. Anyway, all my news comes from bf.c and Jimmy Kimmel, two sources which aren't known to be the most accurate. I started subscribing to the WSJ, so in the future if you would like to talk about current world events or politics, feel free to do so.
HAHA these bastards always have me cracking up.
OMG J.L. Sloan is not at The Hut, her apartment, or in San Francisco!!!! Double U TEE EFF! What has lured her here to a common house party, even an Ice House one? Probably me.
I am having trouble sleeping and it sucks balls. One night I couldn't sleep until 6am. I watched the fucking sun rise. I usually can't sleep till about 3, then wake up at 8, then fall back asleep until 11 or 12, depending on what time I have class. UNFORTUNATE. And then I'm all tired during class. Fuck I hate my life.
Don't remember who this girl is, but her thong was sticking out and Huens was going to pull it up. We took like 6 pictures trying to time it right. It didn't work out so hot.
I am very happy that Figone and Prickett are back. And it is quite convenient that they live together too.
So are you two dating or what's the deal? That would turn a certain someone into The Incredible Hulk of envious rage. Why is green associated with envy?
Bjorklund why do you always have that crazy look in your eye in all my mofo'in pictures?
I was allowed one picture this night. Just one. I think I alienate some people with my camera. Oh well, I'm over it.
It's one of my favorite people- David Fucking Ray!
I went over to Ted's house on Thursday and the first thing he says to me is, "Shouldn't you be boozing somewhere?" That was quite rude; am I an alcoholic now? Puh-lease. I'm not Stephen Burkholder.
Monday, January 3, 2005
WTF. Is Charles really drinking on a school night? I'm not even fucking drinking.
Wednesday, January 5, 2005
First Wednesday back... Ice has to throw a cocktail party. We got 30 bottles of champagne, plus a keg. Then we asked motherbitches to either bring a bottle of champagne (actually who am I kidding it was sparkling wine) or a handle as a house.
A parking situation that could've had dire consequences. It is wicked difficult to get in/out of our driveway with this many cars. At this particular juncture it was impossible unless at least one car moved for Gina's Mustang. But then that car came mighty close to hitting Big Bird, and then the driver of that car would've had to answer to 5 Hydra-Shoks to the dome.
And of course... the obligatory Ice House picture. Where are our two ladies? Who is your favorite Ice House member? And have you joined our Facebook group yet? If not, go do that. NOW.
I was not pleased that certain people did not show up. I wish bad things upon them.
I need another look.
The full Ice House complement. Let me give you a run down for you n00bs with small bewbies. Left to right, top to bottom. Mike "The Bird" Ferd, Jeff "J-Lar" Larson, Thomas "I Am Very Gay" Huens, Ben "Big Dick" Taft, Dallas "Tex" Stonhaus, Kevin "Let's Play Stinkfinger" Bric, Andy "Botch" Benton, Yasu "The Greatest Man, EVAR!" Chiba, Sierra "Loves Lace" Lovelace and finally, last but not least, Lindsey "Praying Mantis" Lantis.
I think Meghan's hot.
It's a ///M3 party. 3 E36s and 1 E46. But thanks to my weak ass flash, you cannot see anything.
Andy: "You know you've had a good night when you don't know where your phone or your eye is."
BEST LINE EVAR!!!!!!!111!!!!1!!oneoneone
Damn look at Chuck's hot ass girlfriend. I mean sister.
I paid a pretty penny to buy Stokes a dirty little pug calendar, and I looked for a National Geographic African tribe calendar for little Jacey because she's into that kinda thing, but I guess public opinion is such that I couldn't find a calendar of that nature at the store in Japanland.
Why is my iTunes Music Store so slow? A man needs his fill of music videos, and since I can't watch them on mtv.com or musicvideos.com, what am I to do? Damn. Damn.
It amuses me that all of Serene's recent away messages have to do with taking a dump. A prank courtesy of the two jokers that live with her, or a certain public disclosure?
Do you think Serene deserves a drink with ice in the glass? And I'm not talking about frozen water.
These two need to sack up and get married. Actually I have many pairs of people I think should get married. Perhaps I'll type up a list and post it on The House. I want to see what their kids would look like.
Jamie wants to go shoot, however I doubt that she can handle the brutal Alaskan cold like Gainza and me. We made a pact that if she starts crying I leave her there with a promise that there will be no hard feelings. Actually I don't think I even handled it because I'm sick now.
Check it out. All ///M3 drivers. And two people I met on the Entirenet- JSN and absolutealex. It's like we're at USC, minus the Ferraris, Aston Martins, Bentleys and Maybachs. So actually, it's not like we're at USC at all. Bad analogy.
"It grows to that monstrosity when excited." That's weak.
That's hot. WTF are they doing?
Unlike his feelings for one Thomas Huens, Ferd likes me. Loves me. I wanted to see the fight of the century go down in the 2004, but it didn't happen. I pray every night before I go to bed that it will happen soon. And with me present, sober and video-taping. That would be hot.
HAHAHA that girl in the background looks like Angelina Jolie. Is she going to adopt a little Asian boy and dress him up in Fendi and Burrrrrrrrrrberry too? If you still can't see it, I will give you a hint. The publishers of Where's Waldo at least gave you that much. Look to the right of Laura Prickett, The Cricket.
A flaky one, and a salty one. Salty Flakes- the new cereal from General Mills. Fuck can you imagine how fucking gross that would be? Especially in milk. Oh noez!
Back, however RED, WHITE AND BLONDE. Fuck it would've worked out beautifully had she been wearing a red dress instead of that pink/white one. I guess I could've Photoshopped it, but then I would be deceiving you. And I don't deceive people. It's a good policy.
Would you rather share a razor or a toothbrush with someone? I think I want to start shaving with a straight razor. That would be hot.
I'm growing my hair out instead of getting the weekly haircut. Do you love it as much as one 8-Ball?
Every picture I have of Sebourn and Rachel they are together. But here is Rob third wheeling it. Oh noez. Oh noez big time. Awkward.
HAHAHA this mug is Matt RA's little brother. I wonder what that fool's up to besides missing the good times over at C Deuce with Dr. Chiba, XIV and the VD motherfucking T.
HAHAHA that's a goofy ass picture of Biz Nasty.
Around this time of year my shoulders start to fucking hurt. It feels like my bones are going to explode. I got them x-rayed one time and the doctor said, "Hey yo there's nothing wrong you mug." But there is something definitely wrong. Lauren says it's arthritis, but I have a hard time accepting that I have had the chronic old person's ailment from the age of 14.
My cat is scratching on the door and mewing bitches. Good thing the Miyago Cat can only open certain types of doors.
This one goes out to all the ridiculously good looking people like one A. Leland. HAHAHA just kidding I was talking about Lindsay.
You love it.
It's warm in there isn't it? LAFF.
Wrong Lindsay Ben. They even spell their names differently.
Good night President Nixon.
I told a certain someone tonight that if she fucked over my friend, I would end her life. I found that quite entertaining in the morning when I remembered.
End of night.
To this day Ferd complains about water on the floor. One would think that he would learn to wear shoes or flip flops. Maybe he just likes to bitch. That's it.
Friday, January 7, 2005
It's cold, so they brought up the beirut table. It fits quite nicely in our living room.
I, however lean towards not playing beirut because of hygienic reasons. Unless I am first up. Then that might be OK. Do you bitches know where "OK" comes from? HAHAHA I do.
I love my North Face fleece, but since everyone has one I cannot wear it out. That is quite sad.
I can solve that dilemma by getting one custom made like this mug here, however that's not trendy. And that's what I live for.
Not even roommates and matching. I guess that is kinda hot.
Watching these two chug is like watching my dog die... slow and painful. Actually I don't have a dog, so that wasn't the best of analogies.
Recently, every time I see two girls in the same vicinity I try to put their heads together. I really need to stop.
Swoboda you lied to us. You know what happened to Pinocchio. That would ruin a good thing.
HAHAHA have you seen 8 Ball in the rain? She has this light blue raincoat, a matching baby blue rain hat and rainboots. She looks like Paddington Bear. We went to Cluck U later this night and in the parking lot it was like fucking You Got Served or something; it was fucking ghetto. Paddington Bear here almost got us shot. But since I am a young thug, I got us out of it.
Looks like Nate, I mean Nick, wants Huens out of there. It is always fun to have an unnecessary hang out.
Yes not very many of you have seen me in a hat. I think it's hot.
I really like V8. The drink, not a type of engine. Why does it have so much sodium in it though? It boggles my mind as well as Larson's.
Remember this mug from the last update? It appears I was wrong in my assessment; the guy isn't a relation of Biz Nasty's. He is Bjorklund's cousin!
No I did not Photoshop Didi in; their expressions happened to be identical- one that looks like I caught them at a bad time.
Two kids tried the 911 Challenge, ate one piece and pussied out. So Matt gives it a try, and says, "These are good!"
Then it hit him, what a naive little one. A pleasant Cluck U dining experience turns into a flaming asshole nightmare. That amuses me.
Hey yo look! It's Kelsey McDrunkerson. Thank you for knocking over our cabinet. Though I did that once by taking a tissue out of the tissue box sitting on top of it. To this day I have no idea how that happened.
That's right Andy Benton is on the fucking House.
Kelsey perhaps you should think about putting the bottle down.
Oh Caitlyn is not going to be smiling in a very short time.
I don't know what Benton was trying to do, but as Caitlyn was yelling, "HELP! HELP!" I stood by taking pictures. I think he almost made her throw up too. I would've laughed at her regurgitation.
It takes a certain individual to wear pants like these. Form your own opinions and discuss amongst yourselves.
This is the first known photograph of Ferd E. Bird's new little freshman "friend," Megan!!!!! Acquired through an anonymous source and sent via encrypted PGP email to firstname.lastname@example.org, The House staff is also privy to her last name, however due to laws regarding minors, we cannot release this information.
What are you saying? I'd like to hear too! Secrets don't make friends. Neither does lying, right Hanley? Whatever happened to you anyway?
This is Mer's bite mark from when Caitlyn bit her. What kind of animal bites people? That reminds me of a time when I was philanthropic and was working at the homeless shelter and some animal just stuck his fork into one of the pies. Jake was incredulous and exclaimed, "What kind of animal sticks his fork into a pie?!" A homeless one.
Here we are telling all sorts of off color jokes, ranging from dead baby to pedofilia. But to our credit, we did not delve into racial jokes. Only because Huens wasn't present. What's black and blue and doesn't like... actually... nevermind.
That would put a crick in my neck.
Saturday, January 8, 2005
Don't pound a bottle of 'Tussin and come over. kthanx.
SHIT MAN. What's Scotty doing over here? I don't think I've EVARRR seen our neighbor over here. Oh BTW I was Facebooking and the only person on there that shares my birthday (along with the late Malcolm X) is my next door neighbor.
Yes you are good looking.
That bruise is not from an abusive relationship. Please do not call NDVH.
Good work boys.
I can't believe it either, but nobody was at The Hut. Except for this one dude who was really, really into beirut. And he also wanted to become the president of Pi Kappa Alpha and institute an annual "wicked" beirut tournament. Whatever.
Little Strockis bought us $43 worth of Bronco food. That was great, because I was craving that shit and someone flaked out on me. Did they get rid of the garlic fries? Those own.
Huens left his phone at Cozy and someone thoughtfully brought it over with some tampons. Of course we had to play with them. Here I am trying to see how much moisture they can actually absorb. I don't trust those commercials. We also had some cranberry juice so Huens soaked one and threw it on Ferd's bed. Then we got water balloons and started throwing them at passersby (mostly Cozy girls). I tagged Jamie point blank, and it was hot. But not for her. HAHA her inability to stay dry amuses me.
January 9, 2005
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