Looks, Intelligence/Affability/Personality, Socioeconomic Standing

From here on out (due mostly to one particular NANCY), I've instituted a policy where I am not going to alter or take down any captions or pictures because YOU feel it necessary. Unless funds are exchanged, making you poorer and me richer. It is YasusHouse.com, not YourNameInPossessiveFormHouse.com. I do not care if you look bad or whatever. Unless it is worse than this picture. Then come talk to me. kthanxbye.



Little Benji Taft has pulled the greatest move, EVARRRR and bought us a 65" HDTV, just in time for the Super Bowl. It is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. A big TV makes life so much better, and I cannot believe that he did not splurge on us sooner. I resent him for that.



Tuesday, February 8, 2005

"Are you always this big of a bitch sober?"

HAHAHAHAHA they brought over tissues to watch "The Notebook" on our giant TV. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA













Figone's birthday! Here she be with her brother, one Mr. Nick Figone.

Here's the tie that Prickett bought for me for Christmas. A month and change late or 11 months early?

Playing the dice @ The Hut, instead of on street corners like we are used to. What did you get there mang?

HAHAHA like always, Bric rolls the 7, 11, or 21 and has to drink. Wait a sec... that's not a bad thing.

What are the consequences of the proprietors of watering holes finding you sneaking beers?


Laura says: TEE HEE OK!

I should start charging royalties from people who use pictures from The House as their FaceBook photos. Or at the very least, I would like some recognition as to where it came from.

I think this fool looks like Anakin Skywalker. What do you think?

Correction: Catie did not have to be carried home from the first night of the OTR Beer Olympics. She stumbled home under her own power. That makes her feat even more impressive.

Even though it was Figone's birthday, Prickett got completely ugly since Figone was staying in control. It is the drunkest I have ever seen her, and I would put my money on the line and say that she was the most inebriated person at the bar this night. Good work.

Charles had me all cracking up when he was making fun of an unnamed individual, saying, "Man... I could've hooked up with her if I didn't look like this."


You would kill for this. Damn you bf.c.

Figone gave Bric a $20 for a Chicken Fajita Pita, and since some people were short money, and nobody had the drive to go to Park Centrals, she definitely floated that whole $20 for our drunk feast. Noez I felt bad.

Even though Gainza was nice enough to drop us off, pick us up, and take us to Jack in the Box, we are all still making fun of her questionable morals. HAHAHAHAHA

Gainza can put up with a lot of shit; however some things cross the line and she gets sad when things hit close to home.



Wednesday, February 9, 2005

Here is our scrumtrulescent group touring NetApp. It was hot.

It's Rookie Night for an undisclosed group, and here is Jamie smoking a gross ass cigar. It smelled fucking awful. Please don't do that again.

Freshmen girls giving lap dances and such. Drunk, loud girls I didn't know bothered a sober me for some reason, so I was in holed up in my room reading a book. I know what y'all are thinking... FAG. Shhh, please don't tell anyone.

Remember that game "Altered Beasts" on Sega Genesis? You ate some weird biscuits or whatever and turned into a superior Beast? Well Brown took some foreign substances and altered her consciousness. The girl was so drunk and stoned I don't even know.

OK things are getting all sorts of hot and heavy between these two. Lizzie McGuire is now staying over, leaving clothing and toiletries at Ice House. She has also started taking some of her showers here, with a certain individual... doesn't she live right behind us? The fondling between these two while we are watching telly borders on absurd. It is straight out of "The Notebook," however Ben sold his jet ski and will not be taking her to some remote area to look at ducks. I will keep y'all updated on this strange love between Lizzie McGuire and Little Benji Taft.

Oh noez! There is a third wheel. Can Big Dick Ben handle both of these lovely ladies? If so, GOODWORK2HIM.

Some guy bought her a drink, and then was standing around not saying anything, and I felt awkward, so I told him to go away. Then she tells me that he bought her the drink. I felt bad, but now I am over it. kthanxbye.


End of night.



This is what happens when the drain plug gets stuck in the drain of your oil drain pan, and about 3 quarts of oil is spilled on your garage floor like an Exxon mishap. When it first started to overflow I first thought, "The fucking bitches at Kragen didn't completely drain the oil" because my natural inclination is to blame others. Then I realized that couldn't be because it was empty when I put it under Big Bird. I won't lie, it sucked cleaning it up. If you ever run into this environmentally-unfriendly misfortune, buy LOTS of kitty litter, pour it liberally over the oil, wait 20 minutes for it to soak up, then scoop/sweep it up. To get rid of the oil stain, put towels over the stains, soak them in Coke overnight, and then in the morning wash the floor down with soapy water. CLEANFLOOR2U.



Friday, February 11, 2005

What a small world. Apparently when Meg's dad went to SC, he lived at Ice House, in my room. They laughed at my tarp. Damn.

Flip Cup is pretty much my favorite thing to do.

Click the picture to download a video of Mer doing her Destiny's Child impersonation. It is not pretty.

HAHAHA since Huens has a lacrosse game tomorrow he cannot drink. That is too bad for my sweet, sweet, chubby little gay man.

I had always heard of Ben's groping exploits (he will be going to jail, or will at least face some charges later in life) but this is the first time I have seen it in action. Mer was not pleased, but I laughed, and Ben had a good time, so it was OK in my book. Ladies, if you have been groped by Benjamin August Taft, there is a support group for fellow victims on TheFaceBook, started by Megan Conlin. Join it.

Meg, Katie and what's her name were taking pictures when Huens thought it'd be funny to throw a porn on the telly. As you can imagine, on this size of a TV (Ben please don't return it) certain people's already oversized genitalia are MASSIVE.

Already passed out at 10pm? Well at least we know that Mer isn't so traumatized that she is having trouble sleeping.

One of my professors (the one that gave a test with answers on it) prides himself so much on his Ph. D., yet cannot spell basic words such as "prize" (prise) nor "excellence" (excelence). It baffles me.

What is going on between Ben and Bric? Oh noez GAYMEN2U.

I was stopped at an intersection when I saw a rather large black man stabbing his finger at a rather pudgy little Asian man in his car. I got excited because I thought I would see roadside fisticuffs. Turned down the Ace Of Base, rolled down my window... only to realize that they are all smiling and shit. Damn.

Jen had a date with a freshman lad who got excited and had what we call a "premature ejaculation" on Jen's clothing. That is funny to me.

Well at least when Ben gropes Gainza, she gropes him back.

I like Mel because we always ask each other questions we already know the answer to, such as "Do you think that ____ is good looking?" It's mean, but it makes me laugh, and that's pretty much all I care about so it's OK.

My two favorite people of the night. Jack in the Box rocks my face off, even when there is a huge line of vehicles. Marina is a very candid person when expressing her opinions on people, and I like that. I like that a lot.



Saturday, February 12, 2005

Damn Bud Light got new uniforms already? These are badass as fuck mang.

Dogs smell funny.

I am teaching NRod Japanese and I will say that he is a quick learner. SURPRISE2ME. But I won a full beer head to head Flip Cup, so he owes me an extra $10 next time. Good work Dr. Chiba, XIV.

Jill says that people "always" say that her and Mary look alike. LAFF. I don't see it, at all, even with my own race bias.

Ben was riding a pocket bike in a t-shirt and flip flops, and got all sorts of what he calls, "boo-boos." Then he inadvertently kept on touching me with his gross arm while we were playing Flip Cup. Hopefully I did not receive any of his many STDs in the process.

Not even standing, and we were winning all sorts of times. Good work Huens.

I just ate some fondue and it was scrumtrulescent and a half. kthanxbye.

"You break it, you buy it." Good thing it is inexpensive, unlike a nice vase. LAFF.

The Cozy girls were being all sorts of antisocial and just talking amongst themselves. It had to be said, and I said it: "Couldn't you bitches do that at home?"

I was thinking it'd be great if I could pop a nap any time I wanted to with no repercussions. In class? No problem. Driving? Go for it Dr. That would be awesome because then I would nEVAR be tired. But then I have to be careful for what I wish for because you know what kind of people can pop a nap at any time? Vegetables.

Speaking of sleep, I rolled out of bed today at 3:45pm. I now know what it is like to live the life of Aaron Stricker. I must say, it is a delicious lifestyle.

Mary likes a guy who doesn't drink. But he is smart, so that makes it OK. Yeah... no.

The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you are pretentious.

Talk is cheap.

Last caption.

Is it discouraging when the Princess says, "I want to be with you!" and then realize that she says it to everyone, multiple times? I got over it.

Here is another picture because she says it so much.

HAHA Lindsey was perturbed that BT came to see me and not her. HAHAHAHA.

Why is Ben's mistress making a funny face?

We shall see what happens to this love triangle on a talk show some time in the near future. I will be waiting, with Tivo.


Last night an unnamed girl was wearing a tank top but she neglected to shave her underarms, and it was fucking disgusting. Fucking disgusting.

Damn Snodgrass is in like every one of my pictures. What's the deal? Does she want to be with you?

2835 Ball has very nice skin... but 2835 of you guys already knew that. LAFF.

We tried to make it look like BAT was groping Lizzie McGuire, but we did not realize that he doesn't have a little dainty hand like Lizzie McGuire. Why didn't they just do it? He does so much more at home.

Do you think they look alike? Cause I do.

It is amazing when you can live on the same property as another and see him/her perhaps once a week. Quite sad, actually, in this case.

Oh noez Ben Taft's sleaziness has rubbed off on me. OH NOEZ!

It was an anti-Valentine's Day party, but do you think people would truly be happier without the Hallmark holiday? Stop grabbing your bewbies Snodder.

Rachel and BT were talking about all sorts of things. Here is something I would like to discuss with someone. It would be entertaining if they infused different genres of movies together. Like Drama and Hardcore Porn. In "The Pianist," would it not be hilarious if one scene Brody is playing the piano, and then the next he is playing some nubile actress, on the piano? Instant success!

HAHAHAHA it is that annoying ass girl that was in my religion class in the background. Actually she wasn't bad as that other, snaggle-toothed one.

If you remember the last update, it may have seemed that I was writing about Kristen getting angry about a certain lookalike. It was not her. I don't know anyone who looks like Swoboda except for her sister.

Hi Brenna you're still hot. Keep up the good work.

Who faxes each other nowadays? Back in the day I remember when Brandon Cook and I used to write our own little messages on those heart things... Oh 8th grade what a great time.

This man is Tinman, and his beatboxer. I thought he was pretty good at the freestyle, and it made me laugh. And laugh and laugh. Click the picture to download the video. It's pretty big though (83.3 MB) so for those of you on dial-up... HAHAHA you're poor.



February 13, 2005

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