Huens had the bright idea for an update: write
captions for pictures of porn. That would be fucking
hilarious. The House staff can praise hot porn stars and
laugh at the misfortunes of those that contracted AIDS from
double anal penetration. And we can compare them to the
Cozy girls. That will be scrumtrulescent. But my
web host doesn't allow for "adult" content, so I may have to
find a new one to make this gem happen, which is kinda
convenient since I need more bandwidth. The House is
Ben returned the 65" Toshiba Rear Projection
HDTV and bought us a 50" Panasonic Plasma HDTV. Out the
door price? 6 grand. And of course, when you're
rocking a plasma, you have to mount it on a wall. Or if
you are a cheap asshole like me and don't want to pay for the
mounting kit, a shelf works too. But we're Ice House and
there has to be some ghettoness in this whole situation, so
cables are EVERYWHERE.
Parking in our driveway is ridiculous. If
you are going to visit and decide to drive, PULL IN all the
way. Yeah, just like that. There is absolutely no
reason that you should block everyone else, especially if
you've been told before.
LMAOPLANE. This picture warms my heart because it makes me laugh so much. Maybe my theory of girls peaking at 16 is wrong... No but seriously, if I'm wrong, I don't want to be right.
Friday, April 29, 2005
I haven't been on my bike in forever.
Let's go ride bikes around campus, packing a lipper of course.
Here is Jen's brother. He looks like Dan,
Dan the C-Walking Man, and that is great. And the
siblings are both very nice individuals. Their parents
raised them right, unlike your cocaine addicted mother and
"Look at these balloons!"
Oh you mean the ones with water in them.
LOLLER SKATES. (Means time to LAFF).
"Why am I pictured with folk bereft of
ridiculously good looks on par with myself?" Perhaps you
need Sparkles, professional male model. If you get that
reference, pat yourself on the back and continue to keep it
I noticed that my tongue doesn't quite fit my mouth; it keeps wanting to push through my teeth. I wrote about my little observation in an AIM away, and Bjorklund said that is one physical characteristic of Down Syndrome. I looked that shit up, and I have other traits.
SHIT I lost again to this nog.
Dave says: "Shoulda. Woulda.
If I made some pruno would you drink it with
It may look like I am groping 8 Ball's bewb,
however the shutter closed as I was in the process of reaching
for Dave. Keep your hands to yourself! <---
Advice that will keep you out of jail and out of the Megan's
Could I please breed with you? And please
don't be intransigent. kthanx.
"Smell my fingers."
"OK but not the pinky."
Don't sin. Or else you might get a
handwritten note from God saying, "Don't make me come down
In Serene's right hand, she holds the braid
that 8 Ball did. The other hand holds my braid.
Which do you think is better? I like mine because it is
nice and thick, just like my old au pair Heidi.
Wow that was quite a sequence of not-so-serene
Serene. How many other people do you know that are named
for a state of mind?
"I interviewed Tom Cruise. I am awesome;
get the fuck away from me because I am more important than
Mary and her sister. Putting theory into
Do you have friends that are adamant they
aren't gay, but you just KNOW they are? Well case in
point: Jay and Alex. They are so gay for each other it
should be turned into a reality show on Bravo called GAY2GAY:
Alex and Jay 2 U.
It is no secret that here on The House we enjoy
beautiful people, especially the ladies. Here is the
epitome of the HAWTNESS at SC, one Ms. Danielle Johnson and
Lindsay. This is probably one of the greatest pictures
that I have ever taken.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Though I was not invited to play, some of my
housemates along with some people I know and don't know played
sloshball. Basically, kickball, but without the heated
fervor of little kids at recess, and with a keg at home
plate. Finish your beer before running home.
Mer and Jen turn 21 one right after the
other. That is trouble.
Here we are at Chevy's, where it took just
about 2 hours to finish the meal not because we are gluttonous
folk, well most of us anyway, but because the service was
fucking terrible. And no I didn't tip. kthanx.
What a depressing ass job. They invest 3
weeks to learn a skill that really is pretty fucking useless,
and only works for tips. That sucks.
They popped the hat as well as the dog that I
had made for me. Do you think that hurts the balloon
I am no longer allowed to touch Jen.
Yeah no not so much.
Ashley, I think you're hot.
Doesn't it look like a onesie? Dave needs
a headband and wrist bands to make the ensemble
complete. I forget- did you have matching shoes too?
Don't look so surprised; you're on the
I am constantly afraid of a small bird flying
into my eye. Is that bad?
What a random, random group of people that was
partying over at Ice tonight.
Our Flip Cup team rocked faces off. I don't think we lost once. That's what happens when you roll with teammates who can hit it THE FIRST TIME.
Sunday, May 1, 2005
Gainza's 12:01. Though it is inevitable,
I have to say, don't embarrass yourself.
This was probably one of the more foul things
I've seen. Jen wanted some gum because she reeked of
vomit, and I was reaching to give her some when Jamie gave her
gum that she had been chewing. That is disturbingly
Sara and Yasu's free advice to you: Don't drink
so much that you piss yourself at the bar.
Apparently Joshie-poo was offended that I
called him a troll that lives under a bridge. I
apologize, I may have gone overboard trying to contrast two
drastically different individuals. Josh is no
troglodyte; he is more of a figure like this
and lives in a house like this.
Dancing by yourself, in an empty bar on Sunday
in sweats? That's hot.
Note: Unless you are one of the Top 20, you
probably can't pull it off.
As Ben and I were leaving we saw that this man
had a tad too much to drink. He was puking all over the
hood of this car and rolling around in it. In the
Democratic Republic of Congo, that's considered hot.
Monday, May 2, 2005
This is what you look like after a night of
drinking 21 shots, passing out and then waking up at 10am to
start drunk dialing people. Needless to say, "heinous
love slut" is an appropriate term here.
Here's my two part birthday present to
Jen. A book on how to orgasm each time (she suffers from
FOD), and a framed picture of Huens for a visual aid when he
is away on business and she is flying solo. You would
not believe how hard it was to find a heart shaped picture
Tarantino's 12:01. Happy birthday; let's
drink some Jager.
We had 8 on 8 Flip Cup for a couple games, but
that many drunk people and organization doesn't work so hot.
Aw how cute. For my birthday (which is
coming up by the way), I would like to have a birthday pizza,
not a birthday cake. I hate cake. And I hate
cookies. Basically anything you bake in an oven. I
do like bread though, so maybe not anything.
THE WINNERS again. Half cup 3 on 3 Flip
Cup. (Angela + Petersen + Dr. Chiba, XIV) > (you + 2
of your homoghey friends).
21 shots. Done and done. Time to go
to the bar.
And... goodnight to you.
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
You know how there's that pick up line: "Can I buy you a drink? Or do you just want the money?" Well Jac asks me for a drink, and after waiting for the bartender for a bit turns around and says, "Wait just give me the money."
I've drank every night this week. Damn it's like freshman year all over again. VDT VDT VDT. Oh and big ups to BAT and Huens for rocking YasusHouse.com.
Thursday, May 5, 2005 (OMG 05/05/05)
This girl looked wicked familiar, and then
she's like, "Sup nigga I was at your party last year
MANG!" SHIT that's right.
This is Dave Ray's girlfriend, however Dave never made
it. If you recall from my invite,
I dreamt up three conditions where if you RSVP saying you can
come, but you don't, I wouldn't get butt hurt, which included
pregnancy, tuberculosis or becoming bankrupt, but I should've
added the one that put Dave Ray out of action. He was in
I haven't drank on a Thursday in forever.
Come to think of it, I haven't drank daily in forever too.
Dave Ray's 12:01 and a party at OTR, one that
could be heard and seen from Lafayette. That's hot.
SHIT Mary's hot. Anyway, our Flip Cup
team probably would've won more games if it wasn't for the
awfulness otherwise known as Mer-Maid.
Wow Dave has this many friends?
That is a rather large floral arrangement in your hair there Wieland. Speaking of Wieland, a friend of a friend met Scott Wieland (of Stone Temple Pilots fame) in jail, and Scott showed him how to make a fifi.
The gayness is strong in this one.
1. Having qualities that delight the senses,
especially the sense of sight.
2. Excellent; wonderful.
The Claran had the gall to kick the best
looking girl at SC out because she had a Natty that was
smuggled in. I do that shit all the time.
Apparently I have attractive friends.
"Yasu hold my purse."
NEGATRON. The Marquis of Oxenford will
never be seen holding a purse. Fap fap fap.
Is it bad that I've been awake for about an
hour, but am tired? I think I'll go back to bed.
YES. Sleeping is great.
Cozy is rocking it out with a terrible,
terrible rendition of 'N Sync's "Tearin' Up My Heart."
Ved, it appears that your cherry flavored
ruffies have done the trick.
Looks like someone's found a new breeding
"I lost my _____ to your cousin!"
Think about it and solve the puzzle. You
don't lose your keys to someone.
Friday, May 6, 2005
You know that back corner at OTR where everyone
(well everyone with a dick) pisses? Well it was all wet
and I ate shit back there, so I won't lie, I was kinda covered
in urine and received a hickey-like injury on my neck.
And if I wiped something on you that night, now you know what
it is. LMAOPLANE.
What the fuck I got way too drunk. I didn't leave my room until 4:48pm and felt like ass until about 7pm. That sucks. As Conor says, "The amount of liquor I consumed would've killed a small to medium sized Asian family." Wait that doesn't make sense if I say it.
Saturday, May 7, 2005
Flip Cup, guys against girls. But they
have 7, and we are rolling with 5. So 2 of us gods will
have to do double duty.
"We're like night and day, white and black; but
what we have is a perfect match. When I say this, you
say that, but love comes easy cause opposites attract."
The campus was dead this weekend because of the
Pike event and Mother's Day. We create our own
fun. And no, sadly nobody invited any of us to the
Because we are so good, we had to mix and match
genders. Kevin and Kelsey were team captains, and they
picked teams like in kickball. I laugh at those who got
That is a heinous burn. What kind of
1920s bathing suit were you wearing to obtain that?
I was visually telling Huens I was going to
kill him by doing the slit your throat gesture, but apparently
I did it with my whole body so it looked really gay.
That's too bad.
I am a damn good looking dude.
OMGALL3CONNOLLYSISTERS2U. That middle one
is 15 (marinating) and no we did not offer her anything to
drink. There has never, ever been a time when 20+ year
old guys offer a 15 year old girl liquor and have it turn out
to be a legal, fun situation. It's either one or the
other. We chose to be safe from prosecution.
HAHA it looks like these two have jaundice.
When someone tells you that he is rolling with
2 hot Polish chicks and that someone is Ved (not pictured),
don't believe him. It was not hot. At all.
May 8, 2005
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